I let myself have the rest of yesterday to mope and feel sad, because far too often I don’t deal with my feelings right away. I dragged my butt to the gym after work and had a great 3 mile run that I wanted no part of, but I knew it would change my mood. It did! I realized after 1.5 miles that I had not worn deodorant all day. I sweat a LOT when I work out, but I never smell. This is good because I forget to wear deodorant quite frequently. Oops! Plus I got to tan again. Save me the cancer talk on tanning if you know what’s good for you 😉 I came home to John being a sweetheart and holding me forever. If you need a 20 minute hug while you cry like a crazy person, he is the right man. I got right into bed and he rubbed my back til I fell asleep. He is wonderful, in case you were wondering. I was up a few times in the night and felt sick, but woke up this morning feeling MUCH better! This week was more important to sleep and let the depression get out of my body rather than forcing myself to the gym at 5 AM. I was craving a big cold smoothie-in-a-bowl rather than oatmeal this morning (I knew I was going to eat oatmeal for lunch!) so I made one. Before:
No coffee this morning, just a gallon of ice cold water 🙂 Caitlin met me at my apartment so we could walk to work this morning. It’s October and we were sweating. NYC weather is SO different than upstate, and it’s only 3 hours away from each other!
I didn’t take pictures of my food yesterday because I was thinking it was going to be a full-on calorie overload day again and I didn’t want the reminder. I have a very all-or-nothing mentality and I am working hard to get rid of that. I am proud to say, I took control and was only at about 1600 calories by last night after my run. I can eat more than that and maintain, but I needed a deficit after the days prior. I didn’t get hungry til about 10 AM at work yesterday thanks to my 2 AM meal, so I had a pumpernickel bagel with egg whites, bacon and cheese. I literally haven’t eaten a bagel on a weekday in over a year. Bagels to me are a lot of calories when I could have a 100 calorie sandwich thin and be fine. It was GOOD. I hadn’t brought food with me because I didn’t have my head on straight yesterday morning, so luckily our building has a cafe in it and the guys who run it are amazing. They have tons of healthy options and let us put our food and drinks on a tab if we want. I got a grilled chicken salad and a cup of BUTTERNUT SQUASH & APPLE SOUP. The best soup I’ve ever had. It was so comforting with how I was feeling and it was a really rainy day. I was full for the rest of the day so no snacks, and I was able to run with limited stomach pain. I’m used to running on an empty stomach so I knew it would hurt a little.
After the gym I had a quick protein shake. I wasn’t hungry, but a protein shake is fast and mine are less than 110 calories. I prayed I would wake up and feel at least a little better, and I definitely do. I decided to go upstate to see my family this weekend because they can make me feel awesome again 🙂 So I’m headed upstate tomorrow night! I always plan out the foods I want/need to eat while I’m there, and for some reason I am craving the salad bar at Ruby Tuesday more than anything in the world. So completely random. Mom, I know you’re reading this so if you’re feeling better Saturday, we have a Ruby Tuesday date where I will embarrass you by eating 8 plates of salad. My best friend Brenda (and Rob!) are upstate this weekend too, and even though we all live in NYC we never get a chance to see each other 😦 I’m planning on some nice chilly fall runs outside, snuggling with my grandma, and just enjoying my family and friends. Unfortunately John and I never get a chance to go upstate together because he works weekends. We are both really close to each others families, so it’s hard not going together.
Mid-morning today I had 3 egg whites and Trader Joe’s spicy pico de gallo and guacamole on a whole wheat sandwich thin. There may or may not have been a tiny bit of mold on the thin, but I picked it off and it was in the fridge overnight so I should be fine 😉
I had mentioned that espresso sounded so good, and for once I didn’t actually NEED it. 2 minutes later, my boss comes up and gives me an espresso shot and a nespresso chocolate that you eat as you sip the shot. He ROCKS! 🙂
Lunch time came and I had an oatmeal mess in the fridge that I hadn’t eaten the other morning, but I was really craving veggies. I had to pick up cinnamon at the grocery store on my break (I put cinnamon on basically everything), so I got some beets and red peppers along with my oatmeal. Great combo!
Tonight is possibly yoga, and my body could really use some good stretching. I am CRAZY sore from kickboxing still! I think some yoga and compression socks tonight will be good so I can run 5 miles tomorrow morning. The class is 7:45-8:45 which when you’re a crazy 5 AM runner it’s very late and could interfere with my dinner eating. We can’t have that! I’m craving “pasta” for dinner. I say pasta in quotes because I don’t like pasta at all, but I love the sauce and parm cheese. So my pasta is steamed broccoli and a chicken burger cut up with sauce and parmesean cheese! I think I’ll have a big salad monster on the side to ensure my fiber intake for the day is 2000 grams. Seriously, I should NOT have the stomach issues I do with how much fiber goes in my body. It apparently likes me so much it decides to stick around for days. Feel free to send sympathy cards to John as he deals directly with my gas but still loves me 🙂